Twisted Affection
by Skylark Starflower
Summary: Zed's developing relationship with Aura is overshadowed by the less than ideal relationships of his past.


Authors Note/Disclaimer: I don't own Alter Code F, it belongs to Media Vision/Sony. If you can't tell yet, agetec annoys me and I refuse to give them credit. Ah well.

This fic contains a **perverted yaoi pairing**, but nothing graphic, just so's you're warned. Really, the act is just hinted at. Hee heh. (And yes, I bolded that so people would notice. Tee hee.) So, where did this really, really warped idea come from? Several suggestions I got from others all merging into one sick lump, that's where. (But it's mostly BW0's fault, so blame her. Hee heh.) And now you shall all pay! MWA HAA HAA HAAack! Cough… Err…read now, anyway? Please?

"**Twisted Affection"  
By Skylark Starflower  
Started February 27, 2006**  
**Finished March 9, 2006**

Several months had passed since the fall of the demons. Saint Centaur was still deserted except for its two inhabitants, Zed returning just as he said he would. Aura had been happy because, thought she didn't want to admit it, she couldn't help thinking that he might not have come back at all. She'd thought that he was just a friend, but while he was away, she found it was more than that. And now she had to know, how did he feel about her?

It was early morning, judging from the sounds of the birds from outside, and Aura knew Zed was still sleeping as she entered the room where he stayed. The rhythmic sound of his gentle snoring gave him away. She remembered hearing once that monsters didn't sleep, and if this were true, then it was another difference between Zed and the other demons.

She didn't want to wake him up, but as she turned to leave, she heard him roll over, snuffle and then grumble something unintelligible. She couldn't help giggling, giving herself away.

"Aura?" he asked, his voice weak in his still half asleep state.

"Yes. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," she replied.

"S'okay…" She heard him grunt as he pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Did you want something?"

"I just wanted to ask you something, but it's all right. It's…nothing important."

"I'm getting up anyway."

"Well, then… Why did you come back?"

He seemed to falter before replying. "Because I said I would."

"But that can't be the only reason. If it were, why do you stay?"

This time, his pause was obvious. "I like it here…"

"Why?"

"At first… it was because there was no one else here," he admitted. "But then I found you… You were nice to me… It's been a very long time since someone's been nice to me…" He trailed off, looking down at his hands, which he had cupped in his lap.

Aura walked forward, felt out the edge of his bed and sat down next to him. She inclined her head to the side, reaching out an arm and wrapping it around his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to dredge up bad memories… There's just…something I need to know."

"What's that?"

Aura was silent for several moments, testing the words in her head, trying not to make her question sound stupid. "I…how do you feel…about me?"

"…What do you mean? You're my friend, right?"

"Is that all?"

"I…" He stopped, realizing just what she was trying to ask. How could he reply when he wasn't sure of the answer? He didn't want to upset her, but he didn't know what to say. "But…I'm a demon. Doesn't that bother you?"

She shook her head. "I don't care what you are. Human, demon, Elw… None of that means anything. To me, you're just…Zed. And… I think… I think I love you."

She could practically feel the look of surprise that crossed his face, and he remained silent for several minutes, stunned beyond words. He'd known it was coming, but hearing it was still a shock. "Aura…"

"Please… Can you answer my question?" She was practically pleading, and her tone made Zed feel awful. He scratched at the back of his head, not knowing what to do.

"I don't know! I mean… I've never… it's new to me… I don't know…" He stopped and took a deep breath. "What I mean to say is… I've never felt this way about anyone before… Can a demon like me even feel love?"

"Oh, Zed…" She turned to hug him, burying her face in his chest. He hugged her back, resting his cheek on the top of her head. He'd always liked the smell of her hair…

She continued, and he could barely hear her, muffled against him. "I know you can."

"Heh…" He tightened his grip on her, not wanting to let go. If he let go, he'd wake up and find it was all a dream…

She gently pushed away from him after a while and found his face with her hands. Leaning in, she brushed her lips against his and felt him intensify the kiss. She couldn't help smiling; he may be a little confused and uncertain, but the emotions were there.

They broke apart after several seconds. Zed couldn't stop himself from giggling like an idiot, a large goofy grin plastered across his face. Aura laughed, cuddling into his side.

"So, what do you say now?" she asked, half joking, half serious.

"This can't be happening to me," he replied, just a hint of disbelieve in his voice, "I'm not that lucky."

"Sure you are." She rubbed his back affectionately and felt him shudder. And then…

"No! Stop it! Don't touch me!" His terrified shriek startled her, and he shoved her away, scrambling backwards, falling off the other side of the bed in his haste.

"Zed! What's wrong!" Aura stood quickly and made her way around to the other side. Zed had already curled up into a tiny, trembling ball by the time she reached him. As she knelt down by his side, she noticed he was whispering something. Tilting her head, she listened to his virtually soundless murmur.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"

Aura found his head, and felt him start when she ran her hand through his hair. "Zed, please… What's the matter? You're scaring me…"

She felt him shake his head, but he just kept repeating, "I'm sorry."

She continued to stroke his hair, trying to calm him. He continued to shake, the freshly reawakened memories tormenting him, refusing to be buried again…

X X X

He tried to lie perfectly still, feeling the warmth of the body pressed up against his. He refused to move until it was gone, refused to betray any emotion. His tired form, however, wouldn't listen to him, trembling slightly with fatigue. He wanted to cry, but he choked it back, remaining silent.

His companion, for want of a better term, rubbed a hand on his back, causing him to shiver. He bit back a cry of dismay. He wouldn't let him win, wouldn't let him break him.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" The voice was unusually gentle, whispering in his ear. He didn't reply. He wasn't going to give in. His companion continued. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

He continued to remain still and silent, hoping that the other would give up and go, but he didn't.

"Answer the question, Zed." Zeikfried's voice held an edge of annoyance this time, and Zed knew he'd pressed his luck as far as it would go.

"No, sir." His response was almost inaudible, but it was the truth. He hadn't known exactly what to expect, but what had happened had been the last thing he would have imagined. He'd been used, that was certain, but the care that had been taken surprised him.

As soon as Zed found out what Zeikfried had wanted from him, he'd fought him, desperately trying to stop him from having his way. But compared to the other demon, he was small and weak, and he'd been overpowered. He had expected punishment, but it never came. If he didn't know better, he would have thought the older demon actually cared about him, even if it were in a twisted sort of way.

But he knew that couldn't be the case. There was no one left on Filgaia or anywhere else that cared about Zed anymore.

"Good." He felt Zeikfried rise and continued to lie as still as possible. He squeezed his eyes shut, listening to quiet clink of armor as the other demon dressed. He felt dopey, his energy drained. He wished Zeikfried would just hurry up and leave so he could sleep, and if he were lucky, forget this had ever happened.

Zeikfried's next statement caused Zed to flinch, his eyes snapping wide in alarm. "I'll see you again."

X X X

And he'd kept his promise, regularly, every several years. Zed never willingly let him have his way, yet Zeikfried had never deliberately hurt him. And though Zed hadn't been aware of it, it had been Zeikfried who'd kept the other demons from hurting him too badly. He hadn't wanted his toy broken. Zed had been getting the lesser of two evils, because Alhazad would have done much worse things to him if he'd been allowed.

But none of that would have mattered to Zed even if he'd known. He just wished the other demons would leave him alone or, better yet, accept him. But that was impossible. The other demons seemed to enjoy messing with him, and he had no way to avoid it. He was just as trapped as they were.

He'd suffered through it, since there wasn't much else he could do, for the next thousand years…

X X X

Aura wasn't sure how much time had passed before Zed calmed down enough so she could talk to him again. It seemed like hours, but in reality, it had only been about twenty minutes. He uncurled a bit, but continued to tremble slightly. He refused to sit up, but she managed to get him to rest his head on her lap. She continued to stroke his hair.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

He shook his head a little, but said nothing. She felt the movement and brushed a hand across his cheek, noticing the wet tracks for the first time. She wiped away his tears with her palm, wishing there was something more she could do for him.

"Will you tell me what's wrong?"

Again he shook his head. "I'm sorry…I …I can't…"

"Oh, Zed… What have they done to you…?" Aura murmured. If Zed heard her, he gave no indication of it. She continued to cradle his head on her lap, not knowing what to do. She had an idea of what the problem was, but she couldn't bring herself to say it aloud. It was just too horrible. So she comforted him, the only thing she could think of to help.

The two remained, as they were, silent, for almost another hour before Zed finally picked himself up from the floor. He didn't stand right away, but pushed himself into a sitting position. Aura leaned into his side and he grasped her, hugging her tightly, refusing to let go. She was all he had left in the world, and he didn't want to lose her.

"Aura…"

"Yes?"

"I…I'm sorry… I didn't mean for things to be this way…"

"It's hardly your fault, Zed."

"…I…I know… But…thank you…for…for not giving up on me."

"Zed…" She pressed her forehead against his chest and felt him adjust his grip on her. She knew he'd been abandoned before; there was no way she could ever do it to him again knowing this. "I would never forgive myself if I let you suffer alone."

He smiled wretchedly. He knew he was lucky to have Aura, but it hurt him to know that little had been resolved. He wanted to tell her everything, wanted to get it all out into the open where he had to deal with it so he could move on. But he couldn't. He wasn't ready; didn't know how. He didn't want to just bury it again, where it would fester until something else brought it violently to the fore, but what else could he do?

"Aura…I promise…someday, I will tell you what's wrong… But not now. I can't now…"

"I understand… When you're ready, I'll listen."

Zed couldn't help the smile this time. He knew they still hadn't resolved anything, yet he couldn't help but feel a weight had been lifted from his shoulders just for making the promise. It was a small step, but it was step in the right direction. He couldn't help feeling that, with Aura's help and support, he could get past this.

"Thank you." He hugged her again before standing, offering his hand to help her up. She took it and stood, smiling. He could see the worry in her eyes, however, and tried to ignore it. "Say… Have you had breakfast yet?" Aura shook her head and he continued. "Then why don't I go make some?"

"I'd like that," she replied, and the two headed to the kitchen together.

Aura couldn't help worrying, but she had a feeling that, in time, things would be okay. She'd tough it out and stay with him no matter what, and together, they would be all right.

**The End**


End file.
